Cher: The Memoir: Part One

“The moment Roy saw that his five-year old child with the voice of a blues singer could turn him a profit, he declared her the breadwinner. On a good night, people would throw so many nickels that when she stuffed them into her pockets the weight almost pulled down her pants.”

Cher explains how her mother, Jackie Jean (Georgia), became the provider for her impoverished family at only five years old. This passage reveals how musical talent runs in Cher’s family, as her mother and grandfather Roy both had beautiful singing voices. This quotation also begins to establish her theme of Resilience in the Face of Adversity. She explains how her mother endured a difficult childhood since her father pressured her to work toward stardom and wealth.

“All she could do was go to the children’s home each week and demand to see me. The sight of my little face through the viewing window broke her heart.”

Cher reflects on how her mother had to provide for herself and beg for custody of her child after her husband Johnnie abandoned her and Cher. With baby Cher in a Catholic children’s home, Jackie Jean could only visit her occasionally, and the nuns encouraged her to give Cher up for adoption. This passage helps the reader understand Cher’s family history and adds to her theme of resilience in the face of adversity, as Cher emphasizes her mother’s determination to be reunited with her.

“I surprised everyone by coming out with the Song of the Witches from Macbeth, which begins, ‘Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble…’ Nobody could believe that I could pick up something so complicated and repeat it.”

In this passage, the author characterizes herself as a gifted observer with a knack for words and memorization. She recalls how she loved the creative environment of her mother’s drama school, where she readily picked up theatrical scenes and prose, even as a four-year-old observer.

“I learned a few tricks to try to distract him if he was headed into that stage that ended in tears for everyone. For an alcoholic there’s that one drink that turns everything to chaos. I would sit on his lap, or ask him to come into the yard with me, but if that didn’t stop him, I’d melt away and try to become invisible.”

Cher recalls how her stepfather John had a dependence on alcohol that made him irritable and abusive. This passage shows how her parents’ tumultuous relationship caused Cher to try to manage their behavior and keep the peace, even at a very young age. This revelation partially explains why Cher had to mature very quickly and felt like an adult and peer to her mother at a young age.

“Despite all the violence and chaos he brought into our lives, I forgave him. I still think of him as my dad. He really loved both me and Gee. I’m sorry my sister wasn’t old enough to remember the good times. He was the first man I’d loved unconditionally even though sometimes I was afraid of him.”

Cher recalls her complex relationship with her stepfather John, whom she loved deeply even though he hurt and disappointed her so many times. This quotation adds to her theme on family relationships and personal development, as she reveals that while she had many stepfathers throughout her childhood, in her mind, John was her only father.

“Alone, broke, thirty-one years old and unable to care for her children, she came close to the breaking point, and later confessed that she suffered from such severe panic attacks that she almost ran screaming into the alley in her nightgown—anything to get out of that room. She wasn’t the only one suffering during that horrible time.”

Cher’s mother was devastated to have to leave her children in their grandparents’ care and rent a studio for herself close to her work. This difficult separation affected both her and Cher, who missed her mother and wanted to live with her again. This passage adds to Cher’s theme of The Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma, as she reveals more about the deprivation and upheaval that continually marked her childhood.

“Those are the times that being poor really got to me and I promised myself that one day I’d be rich and take care of us all.”

Cher remembers her frustration and embarrassment at being unable to afford nice clothes and food during her preteen years. Her determination to enjoy a better lifestyle as an adult foreshadows her success and adds to her theme of resilience in the face of adversity.

“What I saw in him was the part of me that I could never explain before, because I’d never seen it in anyone else in my family. The thing you can’t know until you meet your other parent. This man walked in and it was like a missing puzzle piece for me.”

Cher recalls her amazement at meeting her biological father, Johnnie, when she was a preteen. While Johnnie was a “missing puzzle piece,” Cher’s wariness of him reflected her mature understanding of abandonment and obligation. By discussing how she better understood her own appearance, mannerisms, and temperament by meeting her father, Cher explores the relationship between family and identity.

“Lord only knows how, but I made it all the way to our favorite hot dog stand on Hollywood Boulevard and back again. On the way home I ran a couple red lights and bounced into a few trash cans but otherwise returned unscathed. Because I got away with it, I found the confidence to do it again and again.”

Cher’s keen sense of independence and taste for adventure led her to steal her mother’s car on many occasions, driving around LA by herself as a 13-year-old. These amusing and incredible stories add color to Cher’s childhood memories and show her ongoing desire to escape everyday life and make her own decisions.

“Within reason, I’d been allowed to dress how I liked, wear makeup, and smoke. But in New York, all of a sudden I was demoted. Mom and Gilbert treated me like a kid. One day I was a woman and the next they acted like I was five years old!”

Cher explains that her early childhood as her mother’s helper and confidant, and big sister to Gee, made her feel like an adult in her early teens. These revelations illustrate the connection between Cher’s upbringing and her fiercely independent personality. The exclamation that closes this quotation seeks to capture Cher’s adolescent perspective.

“Over the next ten days or so, Sonny and I hung out and became friends. He liked that I was quirky and nonjudgmental. I liked that he was funny and different. He was a grown up without being too grown up, and I was a sixteen-year-old lying about my age.”

Cher fondly recalls meeting and befriending Sonny Bono while staying with her friend Melissa. At only 16, Cher pretended to be older to fit in with her friends, who were in their mid-twenties. This passage gives the reader a window into Cher’s experience as a teen in LA and provides a glimpse into one of the most consequential relationships of her personal and professional life.

“I learned so much from Sonny and enjoyed how he took care of me in his macho Sicilian way. I came to feel that he was the kind of guy who’d be there if something bad happened. Before too long, I thought the sun rose and set on his Sicilian ass, even though I knew that I wasn’t his type.”

Cher recalls how, after becoming his roommate, she soon fell in love with Sonny despite knowing he had no interest in her and was dating other women. This quote portrays Cher as an impressionable teenager who was looking for a stable and supportive male influence in her life. It also adds some tension and intrigue into Cher’s narrative, as the reader wonders how Sonny and Cher’s friendship turned into their famous romance.

“‘You don’t want to be an actress, Cher, you’re already getting somewhere in music. Gold Star’s where it’s at.’ I loved those classes, but I trusted Sonny. I shouldn’t have. I probably could have done both. But he was already starting to take over my life, even if I didn’t notice.”

Cher recalls how even at the beginning of their relationship, Sonny had a strong influence over her decision-making. Sonny’s focus on music was behind Cher’s decision to quit acting classes and pursue singing full-time. This passage also hints at Sonny’s increasingly controlling behavior over the course of their relationship, foreshadowing the moment when she would eventually have to assert herself and regain her independence from him both personally and professionally.

“Sonny hung with Mick mostly because he was old for his years and full of good advice. When he heard we weren’t getting anywhere in the States, he suggested we try Britain: ‘Trust me, man, they won’t be afraid of you there.’”

Sonny and Cher were intrigued by Mick Jagger’s advice to travel to Britain and try performing there. This passage foreshadows Cher and Sonny’s eventual success in the UK—an environment that Cher portrays as more willing to embrace the ever-changing landscape of popular culture than the US was at the time. By following Mick’s advice, Cher and Sonny launched their US music and television careers.

“A couple of weeks later we had what still ranks as one of the most exciting invitations of our lives when we were asked to appear on CBS’s The Ed Sullivan Show, the biggest show in America watched by as many as seventy million people and, more importantly, where I’d first seen Elvis.”

Cher fondly remembers her and Sonny’s performance on The Ed Sullivan Show, which was a major variety show at the time. In addition to being a sign of the duo’s growing fame, it also brought Cher full circle, as she had first seen Elvis on that same show years earlier as a little girl. This passage supports the theme of resilience in the face of adversity by showing how Cher and Sonny overcame rejection and initial failures to become stars.

“Sonny being Sonny, always thinking about what’s next, he decided he was going to make a film and we would be the stars. Sonny promised, ‘Ours will be like the Beatles films only better.’ […] Although I’d loved my acting classes and had hated giving them up, I was a little wary of Sonny’s movie dreams because I knew they’d be novelty films and not the serious dramas I’d wanted to pursue.”

Cher characterizes Sonny as relentlessly ambitious and hardworking. When their success stalled, he decided to make a movie to regain their momentum by reintroducing them to audiences as film stars rather than singers. This passage gives Sonny credit for continually planning projects for them but also emphasizes his personal and professional differences with Cher.

“Our only hope was to sell our latest movie to a studio and go back to doing gigs, even though we’d no longer be playing the big venues and the money would be far less. ‘So that’s how things are, Cher,’ Sonny told me finally, his voice flat. ‘There’s nothing else to do but start again.’”

Cher recalls being afraid of losing her career as a singer and actor. This passage reveals that Cher’s ascent to stardom was bumpy and unpredictable and that as a new mother, she had to rebuild her reputation as a singer with Sonny by her side. By sharing these humbling moments, Cher adds to the theme of resilience in the face of adversity.

“We were given two months to tie up our touring commitments and prepare for our first show. We felt ready for it and were thrilled and delighted at the opportunity. We got our first live audience for The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour by telling nearby shoppers there would be free food and drinks from the Farmers Market.”

Cher recalls her delight at securing a deal to host The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour on NBC. By highlighting her joy at having steady work, Cher portrays the show as part of a comeback for her and Sonny. This passage adds to her characterization of her early career as tumultuous and difficult, but with highlights and opportunities along the way.

“Our scripts also pushed the envelope and were on the razor’s edge of risqué. People loved it. To remind our audience of the wholesomeness of Sonny & Cher, we started bringing on ‘the president of our fan club,’ for our closing song ‘I Got You Babe.’ Dressed in a mini version of our outfits, Chastity would wander on stage, and I’d pick her up and hold her in my arms as she waved shyly at the audience.”

Pitched to a national TV audience, The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour had to navigate the tension between driving cultural change and avoiding backlash. Cher uses the metaphor “on the razor’s edge” to define this tension. In the ever-changing landscape of popular culture, she and Sonny had to be keenly aware of the constantly shifting boundaries so that they could walk right up to them without crossing them. Cher explains how their show won over viewers with its wholesome family values while also “push[ing] the envelope” with “risqué” humor and innuendo.

“Some people thought we must have been acting happy in the shows immediately after our split, but the rapport we still had on stage wasn’t a lie. You can’t fake that shit. We were always Sonny & Cher even when we weren’t Cher and Sonny.”

Cher explains that her professional relationship with Sonny was so strong that it survived the breakdown of their marriage. This quotation suggests that Cher found it easier to collaborate with Sonny as an acting and music partner than as a husband and co-parent. The rapport was real, but it was a rapport between long-time co-performers, not between husband and wife.

“As the weeks passed, I began to lead the kind of independent life I’d longed for. I felt vibrant and loved dressing how I liked without asking permission. I was a strange combination of sophisticated and naive. I had traveled all over the world in a bubble. Now, everything was an adventure.”

Cher reveals how, by leaving her relationship, she was able to live more independently, develop a new confidence, and enjoy her life again away from Sonny’s opinions and limitations. This passage also adds to her theme on family relationships and personal development, as it paints her marriage as a constraint on her self-development that she had to leave in order to be more fully herself.

“It took me a while to finally ask him how he could have taken all my money when we were together. He simply shrugged and replied, ‘I always knew you’d leave me.’ I told him that’s not a real answer. Beyond taking my money, it was a real cruelty to prevent me from making more.”

Cher reveals her shock and hurt that Sonny had encouraged her to sign a contract in which she was technically his employee, preventing her from sharing equally in the success of their music and show. This devastating revelation—and Sonny’s refusal to negotiate their contract—created Cher’s deep distrust in Sonny and what she saw as his incomprehensible greed. This passage adds to the author’s theme of resilience in the face of adversity, as she had to overcome this betrayal and relaunch her career as a solo act.

“All the things I had gotten away with when I was with Sonny, I wasn’t getting away with anymore as a single woman. Somehow everything I wore was too low-cut or revealed too much. Were they living in a cave the whole time Sonny and Cher was on?”

Cher recalls how the censors were much stricter with her appearance and dialogue on her solo show than they had been on the show she shared with her husband. Cher’s frustration with the censors and their cautious and conservative attitudes contributes to her theme of the ever-changing landscape of popular culture, as she continued to try to push the envelope of what could be said and shown on TV.